wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
