OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
