you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
it glows. i had to have it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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