i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
