i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
