Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
