maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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