he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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