i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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