The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
