Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Randomize
