i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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