Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
