I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
