Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
