I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
