We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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