This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
