I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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