He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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