you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
did i just pee glitter
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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