I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
