I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
