Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
