White coat. Heels.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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