He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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