you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm passing your future prison.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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