You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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