Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
