Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
