Banned from zoo.
Again?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
