But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
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