it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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