Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
