Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
