I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
this is an emotional support booty call
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
