Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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