So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I supernannyed him into submission
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
