just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
