how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
