my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
