A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
