Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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