there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
