If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Randomize
