I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
