Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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