i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
