You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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