hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
