did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
