How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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