I'm going to jail i love you
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
