Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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